they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
