Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
