All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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