so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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