Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
