clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
