I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
