how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dick very happy bro
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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