Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
