Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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