I just saw a hot homeless man
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
not ubering you a puppy
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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