This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
