I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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