ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
