Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
