I just cut my nipple shaving
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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