Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
