I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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