I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
