her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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