That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
