I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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