Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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