Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
