Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
