ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
