I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
