I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
