why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm passing your future prison.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
