Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
