whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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