I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
