Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
