i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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