Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
