...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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