Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
