D3 body, D1 cock
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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