hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
