Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
