We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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