Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
