I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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