I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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