one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's just like the Real World with babies
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
