I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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