She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
