It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Everclear isn't food dammit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
