Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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