How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
