the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
