I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
