For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
