you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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