Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
