i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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