I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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