One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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