Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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