the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
