ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
