i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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