cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
