he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize