fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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