we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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