I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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